Keeping something in a steady position so it doesn’t fall. A state of equilibrium. Balance. I think of a game I played with my brother as a child -- Don't Tip the Waiter. Each player had “chips” that represented plates of food. The players took turns placing a chip on the waiter’s tray in pursuit of keeping the tray steady and balanced. My approach was with great caution. I would place my chips in a spot that would certainly maintain a stable position for the tray. Each move was calculated and precise. I did not want to make the wrong move and upset the balance of the tray. Inevitably, one of the chips would upset the balance and the entire tray would spill. Little did I know this game -- Don’t Tip the Waiter -- was offering such great insight to life. Each day we strive to balance family, work, relationships, fun, and more. Unexpected changes and distractions will quickly upset the balance and cause the “tray” to tip.
For the Waiter, balance was pretty well defined by the game. However, in life it isn't so simplistic and clear. Defining balance is a critical component to finding balance -- in fact, it would be impossible to find balance without the definition. Your definition of balance will be different than mine, and it is constantly changing. There are two important things to consider when defining your balance: priorities and goals. These are closely linked and can help keep each other in check.
First take the time to clearly define your priorities -- what is important to you? This will constantly change. It might even change from day to day, depending on how specifically you define your priorities. For example, let's say you talk to your mom every Sunday. Nothing gets in the way of this weekly phone call. You plan your day around this highly prioritized phone call. You chat with your mom, catch up, tell her you love her, and this means the world to both of you. After you hang up the phone on Sunday afternoon, you both look forward to next Sunday’s phone call. When Monday arrives, calling your mom is no longer a priority. Something else will be at the top of the list on Monday. Priorities can include areas such as physical well-being, mental well-being, family, relationships, finances, recreation, and faith, to name a few.
Keeping your priorities close in mind, it's time to set some goals. Long term goals and short term goals. Specific and tangible goals. Goals can be personal development, career development, or relationship oriented -- just to get you started! Check the goals with your priorities -- are they in line? If not, cross the misaligned goals off the list.
Once your priorities and goals are set and aligned, seeking balance requires decisions and plans in your daily life to help lead you in the right direction. Use some of the following tools to stay on track:
Limit distractions -- if something doesn't lead you in the direction of your priorities and goals, then steer clear of it!
Set personal boundaries -- learn to say “No.” You can not possibly do everything for everyone all the time. Reference your priorities to determine when to say “yes” or “no.”
Be consistent -- try to set some kind of routine in the way you take care of yourself. You can control your food intake, exercise, sleep, and relaxation. Be firm with your self-care. It must be a top priority.
Plan -- don't let your schedule run your life! Take control and let your priorities dictate the schedule at all times.
Without balance we feel frustrated and exhausted. Balance is not a goal, but rather an ongoing process that is constantly changing and evolving. Balance is something you will only feel at brief moments in life. Embrace those moments and let them motivate you to hold value in practicing the fine art of balance.