May and June are a time to celebrate mothers and fathers. You may be a parent to someone, or maybe you take care of your own parents. Either way, you care for other people. You may cook for them, shop for them, do their laundry, drive them to appointments, lessons, or sporting events. You watch them play sports all hours of the evenings and weekends. And at the end of the day, you may fall into bed exhausted, anticipating doing more of the same tomorrow. We spend so many hours each day caring for the needs of others. Stop and think: are you carving out the time that you need to care for yourself?
The concept of putting yourself first might seem foreign (especially to the moms out there!) and hard to accept, as we are so used to putting the needs of others first. Think about what your priorities are. Is exercise a priority? How about shopping for and preparing healthy and whole foods rather than going to the nearest drive through? Is engaging in a hobby in order to reduce stress on your "to do list"? Chances are the answer is "no" and family or work obligations are topping your list.
When we constantly put others' needs before our own, our wellness can suffer. If you are ignoring your own health and well being, will that make you more or less efficient and patient? Chances are you will end up tired, less patient and less likely to take care of yourself. Stress runs high, sleep is lost and other healthy habits take a back burner. Carving out the time to engage in exercise, a hobby or something you enjoy with people you enjoy will actually improve your wellness and in turn empower you to treat yourself better. When you treat yourself better, you will be a more efficient and patient caregiver to others.
"But I don't have enough time!" Is that your mantra? Pay attention to your time habits and even keep a "time diary" for a week or two. How much time do you spend scrolling through social media, taking an extra snooze because you're too tired from staying up too late, or mindlessly staring at the TV? Pay attention to these pockets of time. Then substitute a healthy activity that makes you feel good and see how your outlook improves. Try not to feel guilty about asking for help with child or elder care or hiring a sitter for a few hours. The money spent on a sitter may well be worth your health and wellness. Go to bed at an earlier hour and try waking up earlier when your resolve is strongest and you're more likely to get in some exercise or read that good book you've been meaning to read (hopefully while the others in your house are still sleeping!)
Look for ways to minimize your stress as well. Is social media feeling toxic? Ditch it, at least for a week and see if you feel a difference in any negative feelings (and see how much time you have freed up!) Not enjoying that book you started and feel like you "have" to finish? Ditch it and pick up one you *will* enjoy. Spending too much time with people who aren't bringing you joy? Surround yourself with people who *do* make you laugh and who enjoy you and who you enjoy. Above all, remember that you will be able to care for others with a more positive outlook if you put yourself first and care for yourself first. And don't wait for "someday".....If not now, when?